The Eye is the Lamp of the Body

Matthew 6:22-34 (New International Version)
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God is speaking to me lately about re-sensitizing myself. In my time of rebellion, I became very desensitized towards things that I used to be so good about not exposing myself to. I cannot serve two masters. It just doesnt work that way.

If my eyes, the window to my soul, are seeing darkness constantly, it's as if I am living in a pitch-black room for a period of time-My eyes will get super dialated. My pupil is black, and it will fill most of my eye-making the majority of my eye color dark. If I live in a well-lighted room, my pupils will be tiny, making the majority of my eye color light.

On the subject of eyes being the window to your soul-that doesn't just work for people seeing "your soul" through you eyes, but it also works for your soul seeing out through your eyes. Your eyes are very important-they are an open door for anything to come in.
If your eyes are seeing darkness constantly, your soul, in essence, will be the one seeing that darkness. If your soul is exposed to that darkness without the proper protection, it will eventually begin to take on the form of that darkness(just like if you have a relationship with a certain kind of person, you will begin to act/talk like them).
If your eyes are seeing light constantly, your soul will be the one seeing the light. And if your soul is exposed to this light, it will eventually take on THAT form.

When the verse says ,"If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!", I believe it is meaning to warn you about how strong that darkness really is. As modern day Christians, I do think that we have a mentality that assumes the devil is this weak little guy trying to defeat God and screw with people's minds. But in reality, the Bible warns against this. One example:

1 Peter 5:8 (New International Version)
8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Alright, does it say your enemy the devil cowers around like a meowing cat? Nope, it definately says "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a ROARING LION..."
God wants us to be fully aware that the devil DOES have crazy amounts of power, but that "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world"-the devil is the "prince of this world".

We cannot serve two masters. I've tried this, I hooked up with guys all the time, everytime having to explain why I had a ring on my ring finger. I didn't want to lie about it, it was my wedding ring to God-But every time I realized how hypocritical I was being, serving two masters. Still trying to hold on to both. But I was super lonely-meaning that the master I knew was the right one to follow wasnt really who I was following(no matter how much I claimed I was.)



We need to be self-controlled and alert-and we need to be sensitive to what we expose ourselves to. If you need prayer for this, let me know-I know I do, so that'd be super cool if you could pray for me too =)

Freedom.

So, I've been thinking about freedom lately. Not like "God bless america"freedom, like: Pure-FREEDOM. Like living in nature, with instruments, and people that think the same way as you, openminded, transcendental-not taking things for granted like we can't help but do in these lives we live in now...with everything provided for us...it disgusts me when i think about it sometimes..the way we have anything and everything we want-not need, but WANT. But the thing is...I really dont have everything I want 'cause what I want is freedom-which living here, in this way, just doesnt provide. I want nothing more than to just leave-right now-with a bunch of transcendental friends who love the beauty and freedom and life found in nature...and move into a cabin in the woods...in the mountains....it'd be so beautiful...we could play music, paint things, dance,...it'd just feel so free and youthful and beautiful. I want to have that life just well up inside of me like that... I've been talking pretty much every day with this guy at school-and he's extremely transcendental, he thinks exactly like me...he listens to all this wonderful, chill music...bluegrass...folk...and like...radiohead...and him and his friends are already checking out this cabin they're planning on buying up in the mountains by the college they'll be going to...and they're checking out a dog to buy n stuff...and ..i dunno, he's just been like dreaming outloud about it, just telling me how wonderful it feels to even just be able to hope for such freedom and look forward to it, and we talk about how this whole thing that these kids are stuck in...it's disgusting...you try to carry on a conversation with one of them, and they have nothing to say..all they live for is comfort..I don't want comfort, I want life man. I'm so sick of this day-to-day cycle of boring, normal, comfortable life. of life that provides everything for you, if you want this useless thing, you've GOT IT!, if you want that useless thing-YOU'VE GOT IT!...it's sick. I want the freedom man-that's the life my kids will know-how to be free and not have to be held down by insecurity...and wanting to fit in...and desiring stupid things like technology...just wanting entertainment all the time-getting lazy and fat and living just to be wealthy and successful...I would hate myself if my kids were taught to be that way growing up. life is not money...you cant eat money-money doesnt give you true freedom...it just doesnt, even if it feels like it-it just ties you up more and more until you become that rich depressed old man...with nothing to do...


Anyways, just had to get those thoughts out of my mind somehow...well, they're still not out of my mind, but I don't want them to be...'cause I know what I want...and I want to keep it that way.